“Confidence Doesn’t Come With a Clock”
Some of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in life came from being passed up—not because I wasn’t capable, but because I didn’t have “enough experience.”
I remember graduating college, fired up and ready to work, only to be met with job listings that required 3–5 years of experience for entry-level positions. I had just finished my degree. I was proud of that. But because I didn’t have the years, I couldn’t even get in the door.
That’s actually how I stumbled into coaching. I told myself I’d teach and coach for a while, then go back and find a career in marketing or event planning. But something happened along the way—I fell in love with leadership.
One of my simple joys in life is people-watching. Not in the sitting-on-a-park-bench kind of way (though I don’t mind that either), but in watching how people lead. How they bring others together. How they shift a culture, remove distractions, and align a group behind one vision. I’ve been observing for over 12 years now, and the one thing that still bugs me is this belief that leadership must be earned by years.
I disagree.
Leadership has little to do with years and everything to do with experience—and what you do with it. At 28, I went back and earned my master’s. I decided to pursue a career in athletics with a focus on leadership. I’ve been blessed with incredible mentors. I’ve assisted some of the winningest coaches in the game and worked under people who taught me what it really means to build a team.
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever been given?
“If you try to do this job by yourself, you’ll kill the team you’re trying to build.”
That stuck with me. So, I poured myself into building connections—with my staff, my athletes, and my coaching community. I learned that strong relationships within your staff directly translate into stronger relationships with your team.
But where I struggled most was confidence.
How do you lead with confidence when you're not the most experienced person in the room?
I spent countless hours learning—taking notes, attending clinics, visiting colleges, studying the game. And let me tell you, I do know the game. And on the days I don’t, my team does. That’s what leadership is: knowing yourself, not constantly proving yourself.
Recently, a new teammate joined one of the programs I’m part of. I didn’t know their resume. I didn’t know their accolades. But I watched them build trust, connect with staff, and influence the culture—without ever listing their accomplishments. They simply showed up, served the team, and established standards that the group could believe in. Watching that unfold reminded me that leadership isn’t loud—it’s consistent.
I still consider myself a young coach, and I love watching others step into leadership roles. We often think confidence and leadership come with age or titles, but really, it’s about showing up, surrounding yourself with the right people, and knowing who you are. You don’t have to convince others you’re capable—just be, and let the work speak for itself.
That kind of confidence is contagious. And suddenly, people are ready to follow you.
One of my closest friends and coaching partners just accepted her first head coaching job. Selfishly, I wanted her to stay—we’ve built something special these past two seasons. But deep down, I knew this was her calling. Our little coaching squad the three of us have has been a gift. We lead in different ways, we bring different strengths, and together we make each other better. That’s the final leadership lesson I’ll leave you with:
The best leaders know when to be the student.
I’m not sure what chapter I’m on in this life, but I know this—this one’s a great one.
And I think I really like the team I’ve built with these amazing people.